To be clear, I’ve won exactly 2 games of Chess in my life, both in my seventh grade prealgebra class playing against people who’d never played before.
I also sank someone’s battle ship later that same year, which are my two greatest mathematical achievements.
🟰
What does any of this have to do with victory?
I’m so glad you asked …
I had every intention of being organized and responsible by writing and scheduling this post by the weekend at the latest.
So, last night when I sent myself a nice email reminder to “write and post something tomorrow or else,” I realized I needed to come up with something to say. Stat.
Then, I woke up this morning with zero desire to write and feeling pretty disheartened about things in general. Uncertainty, Uselessness, imposter syndrome—you know the drill.
I relayed all this to my partner, who, amid being supportive, asked me “why are you choosing to lose right now?”
My initial response was to vehemently argue I was not choosing anything.
Except I was.
(Don’t you hate when someone asks a question you hate but that cuts to the center of all your current issues?)
I used to hate that. But I realized I only hated it because it took away all my excuses. Fact of the matter is, I was choosing to lose earlier. I was choosing to focus on all the ways nothing was going the way I wanted and choosing to ignore all the things I could do to shift that outcome.
Because there are plenty of things I can do. The fact I’m now sitting at my desk and writing this post is proof. (Okay, technically, by the time you read this, I’ll be done writing it, hence it being live on my blog. But I digress.)
The last few days were the downward slide that resulted in all my emotional turmoil of this morning. And I guarantee, there will be more slides in the future. I wouldn’t be human otherwise.
Today, though, I’m choosing victory. I’m going to post this (or already posted it, hmm Schrodinger’s blog post? 😼), work on a short story, start putting together a class, maybe listen to a webinar replay if I get to it. If not, that will be something I can focus on for tomorrow.
This way, no matter how the rest of the day goes, I’ve already got my checkmate.
Okay, I listed out my wins. How about you? What are you winning at today? (Full disclosure, “getting out of bed” is a completely valid response.)
👋 Fair travels,
Mary
P.S. A big thanks to Pexels from Pixabay for the image.
P.P.S. I still feel awful for that squirrel in Ice Age. ❄