Interview with Robert Gainey, author of Dragon(e) Baby Gone (Reports from the Department of Intangible Assets Book 1)
Diane Morris is part of the thin line separating a happy, mundane world from all of the horrors of the anomalous. Her federal agency is underfunded, understaffed, and misunderstood, and she’d rather transfer to the boring safety of Logistics than remain a field agent. When a troupe of international thieves make off with a pair of dragon eggs, Diane has no choice but to ally with a demon against the forces looking to leave her city a smoldering crater. Facing down rogue wizards, fiery elementals, and crazed gunmen, it’s a race against time to get the precious cargo back before the dragon wakes up and unleashes hell.
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Modern times gave way to a general idea that reason and logic were enough to stop something from dragging you into the sewers and wearing your skin to protect itself from daylight. It’s easy to see why: it doesn’t happen to a lot of people, therefore it must not happen. I see it all the time, people who say things like “I’ve never seen a ghost, so they must not exist.”
Oh yeah? Because if spirits did exist, they’d all be tripping over their ghost dicks to haunt you? Do you understand the preternatural forces that conspire, the circumstances that line up, to create any kind of ghost? Let alone one that shows up in your room at night and moans about revenge or betrayal or rattles some chains and teaches you a valuable lesson about being selfish?
“Well, there’s no such thing as Bigfoot. All those pictures are super blurry and grainy,” they say, their voices nasally and snobby, like all the knowledge of the world is pumped directly into their tiny brains through their tiny phones. Go stand out in a remote Colorado forest one night. Turn off your phone, open your eyes and ears, and wait. When you feel those eyes watching, and when you know, deep in that primitive monkey brain, way, way down inside, that there’s more than just the animals you have names for sharing that clearing with you, then you can call me to tell me that there’s no such thing as Bigfoot.
That is, if you live to turn your phone back on again.
~Buy Dragon (e) Baby Gone:
An Interview with Robert Gainey
–What are four things you can’t live without?
Air, Water, Sleep, Food. Easy question.
But really, it’s more than that. Air is getting out in the world and seeing new places one lungful at a time. The mist over the Blue Ridge Parkway, the dust of the Mojave, the thin air of the Rockies. Water is home for me, the distinct and comforting taste of the well water that’s piped out of every faucet, straight out of the aquifer forty stories below the ground. Some people think it’s got a hint of rotten eggs, but that’s what I grew up with.
Sleep’s important and maybe the most fickle of the four. Since I work a twenty-four hour shift every third day, there’s a good chance my sleep schedule gets beaten up on a regular basis. Catching safety naps, falling asleep in a chair reading a book, getting to sleep in on a day off are the little ways to keep up with this critical aspect.
Food is life. Good food all the more. If I wind up in Valhalla one day, I don’t want to be mocked for a terrible last meal. Try new food, try stuff you can’t pronounce, leave yourself burning from spice and reeling from something fermented and pungent you’ve never seen before. Even the food I ended up hating was an experience worth having.
-What is your favorite television show?
Star Trek: The Next Generation has to be the clear winner here, but there are a lot of runner-ups. Really, the biggest appeal of TNG is the nostalgia glaze all over it. Sure, it’s not perfect, but I have very vivid memories of being a kid lying on the carpet, hearing that opening music and just getting excited for whatever adventure awaited. It helps that my dad is big into Star Trek, so it was on pretty much any day it aired. And yeah, everyone knows that Picard is better than Kirk. Fight me over it.
-If you could be any character, from any literary work, who would you choose to be? Why?
Carrot Ironfounderson, from Guards! Guards!by Terry Pratchett. Honest, kind, loyal, built like a brick wall. King by right but guardsman by choice. Carrot’s everything a public servant ought to strive for.
-What have you got coming soon for us to look out for?
Right now, I’ve got my debut book Dragon(e) Baby Gone available through the provided links. I’m working on the sequel as well, finishing up a second round of edits. I don’t have any kind of anticipated release date for this one, but Witches Get Stitches will continue to document the affairs of the Department of Intangible Assets and the underpaid, overworked agents holding back the anomalous threats of the paranormal.
-What books or authors have most influenced your own writing?
There are so many talented authors out there, it’s difficult to pick any number of them out of the crowd. Certainly I’d have to credit Jim Butcher for introducing me to the genre of modern fantasy and how much fun it can be. The late, great Robert Jordan and The Wheel of Time series has been a big inspiration for loftier ideas and concepts of worldbuilding. As a kid, I loved books like the Animorphs series, So You Want To Be A Wizard, and others in the same vein. Hell, I used to have the whole set. I’m sure if you look deep enough, it won’t be hard to see the influence these works had over time.
About Robert Gainey
Robert Gainey is a born and raised Floridian, despite his best efforts. While enrolled at Florida State University and studying English (a language spoken on a small island near Europe), Robert began volunteering for the campus medical response team, opening up a great new passion in his life. Following graduation, he pursued further training through paramedic and firefighting programs, going on to become a full time professional firefighter in the State of Florida. He currently lives and works in Northeast Florida with his wife and dogs, who make sure he gets walked regularly. Robert writes near-fetched fantasy novels inspired by the madness and courage found in everyday events.
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